NUMNUTS
ME AND MY LEFT FOOT
WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP
AND IT IS GREAT AND SO NICE
SHE SUPPORTS ME
BECAUSE WITH MY SHOE
I CAN SHELTER HER FROM THE ICE
BUT WHEN SHE'S FALLING ASLEEP,
I SHAKE HER NOT-SO-GENTLY

I'D SAY I'M SORRY
BUT IT'S GETTING LATE
AND I CAN'T CONCENTRATE AND MY FATE
MAKES ME ANXIOUSLY SAY THINGS
I NEVER INTENDED TO TRY TO STATE
TO MY APPENDAGES NICE AND DRY
ARE YOU HAPPY DARLINGS?

WE DON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALES
WE ONLY READ THEM WITH A LIGHT
AND UNDERCOVER

I DON'T KNOW THAT THERE'S A FLOORPLAN
FOR THE PLACES THAT WE LEAVE BEHIND
FOR OTHER SUCKERS

SHELTER YOUR CHILDREN
THE WEATHER IS BETTER
WHEREVER YOU TETHER THEM DOWN
KEEP A TOWEL
YOU NEVER KNOW WHETHER
YOU'LL NEED TO GO THROW IT DOWN
SO THAT THE FLOOR WILL BE NICE AND DRY
CAUSE THE ROOF IS LEAKING

IDIOTS TELL YOU THAT IT'S MAGICAL
THEY NEVER SEEM TO UNDERSTAND
OBSERVED BEHAVIOR

I SAW YOUR GIRLFRIEND
AND SHE WAS A HORRIBLE MESS
I CONFESS SHE WAS STRESSED
BY THE BOOK AND
SHE RIPPED IT TO SHREDS
AND THEN CRIED AND THEN WENT TO BED
AND IN HER DREAMS SHE RECALLED A TIME
QUITE NONEXISTENT

NUMNUTS NEVER WANT TO QUESTION IT
THEIR MEALS ARE ALWAYS SORELY BLAND
BEREFT OF REASON

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